


flowers in your hair

by setoso



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 2019 Skate Canada International, Established Relationship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 04:21:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21451936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setoso/pseuds/setoso
Summary: It complements his costume perfectly, the scattered petals on the purple mesh. He looks beautiful, glowing, soaking up the excitement of the audience, knowing that all eyes are on him.
Relationships: Javier Fernández/Yuzuru Hanyu
Comments: 15
Kudos: 102





	flowers in your hair

**Author's Note:**

> (this could have turned out so much better, but here we are)
> 
> thanks to capra & tess for the beta ♥
> 
> **Please don't repost or share my work in any way or form!**

  
  
  


Watching Skate Canada unfold the past couple days on the big TV screen, holed up in his hotel room, Javier had no doubts Yuzuru would leave with a gold medal. The fear of another injury had been equally persistent, and every time the practice stream would capture a fall, Javier held his breath; would this be it?

Now, watching Yuzuru goof around with Nam and Keiji, Javier holds a pillow in his arms and can’t help but think of times long gone. They used to have fun together, the three of them, practicing on the same ice, Yuzuru trying and failing to get an English joke but still laughing heartily at their exaggerated, clumsy movements. 

He doesn’t miss competitions, but there’s a lasting hunger for the camaraderie that used to surround the aftermath, when all was said and done and they could pretend nothing else mattered but that sweet moment of relief and accomplishment.

Closing his eyes briefly he lets the melancholia sweep over him, eager to feel it replaced with joy.

Someone from the crowd gives the winners flower crowns and a laugh startles itself out of Javier at Yuzuru’s embarrassed expression at having to wear one. It complements his costume perfectly, the scattered petals on the purple mesh. He looks beautiful, glowing, soaking up the excitement of the audience, knowing that all eyes are on him.

Javier tightens his hug on the poor couch cushion. He doesn’t regret his decision to stay back, not wanting to spark any reactions with his sudden appearance. Still, he wishes he was there, half hanging off the boards, for that sweet victory selfie.

He busies himself with checking up twitter updates, the pictures taken by fans. He saves the ones with the flower crown in his phone, tempted to make one his home screen, if only for the duration of his stay in Canada.

His dinner gets cold waiting for him to finish going through the interviews. It’s weird, keeping tabs on Yuzuru through a screen and not in the flesh, when they’re in walking distance. Back when they were still competing against each other, he refused to watch a single thing from competitions he wasn't at, called it bad luck after catching the stream for that dreaded Cup of China. Yuzuru would roll his eyes so hard at him whenever he’d bring it up.

Pictures from the following banquet start popping up on his feed and he scrolls through them. Yuzuru’s smile is blinding, but it’s obvious he’s starting to run on fumes after the exhausting day he’s had.

Patiently, Javier waits. He texts _“Congrats, noodle,”_ to Nam, and gets a bunch of exclamation marks in return along with a storm of emojis.

It feels like forever before his phone lights up with a notification from Yuzuru.

_done. sorry it takes long_

Javier sends him a small purple heart, then cleans up the leftover takeout from the coffee table. Yuzuru doesn’t like clutter and Javier wants to have him smiley and joyful for the remainder of the night.

Soon enough there’s a playful knock on the door. What greets him upon opening it is yellow and red: Yuzuru hidden behind the biggest Pooh bear Javier’s ever seen, mirth in his tired eyes. He waves the bear’s arm cutely.

“Hi.” A giggle follows.

“Sorry, you have the wrong room. No bears allowed in here,” Javier says with a raised eyebrow, pretending to close the door. He’s unable to hold back his own grin at Yuzuru’s tiny squeak.

“Javiii,” Yuzu scolds him, the pout on his plush lips so inviting. Javier wants to shower him with kisses; on his rosy cheeks, his soft mouth, his smooth forehead.

“Alright, let’s get him in.”

Together they haul the giant Winnie inside, propping it on the couch. Yuzuru keeps touching its ears, plucking and adjusting them until he deems it satisfactory. Then he finally turns around, grinning. His zipper gets stuck in his haste to force his jacket open and he fumbles for a second, before he’s grasping his medal, his fist raised in victory.

“I did it! Skate Canada! I did it!” His voice is nothing but a series of squeaky giggles, high pitched and cutesy in a way Yuzuru doesn’t often allow himself to be anymore in public, as he keeps repeating “I did it!”

He hops around like a bunny and Javier has to physically hold him still to give him a proper hug, the clear medal held tight between them.

“Proud of you,” Javier whispers, because he is. It’s been a long time coming. Yuzuru makes one last high pitched noise and then practically melts into his arms.

“So tired,” he whines, leaning his weight on Javier. “Carry me,” he commands playfully. “I win today so I get wish.”

Javier half carries, half pushes him into the bathroom with a roll of his eyes, saying “Yeah, yeah, don’t get too excited there, buddy.” Yuzuru’s cheeks are soft under Javier’s lips and his mouth even softer, sweet with the taste of victory. They kiss briefly while waiting for the tub to fill, the smell of Yuzuru’s favorite bath gel permeating the air around them. Yuzuru is purposefully being a brat, making Javier undress him and take off his shoes before he splashes into the hot water with a deep, relieved sigh.

“Feels so good,” he moans, submerging himself in the bubbles. He blows some of them in Javier’s direction, laughing when they land on his sweatpants, leaving wet stains. Javier retaliates by scooping some on Yuzuru’s hair, ignoring his indignant shriek.

“Shh, everyone will hear you,” he says, yet keeps on pushing bubbles on Yuzuru’s scrunched up face, for sure getting some in his mouth, if the loud spluttering is any indication.

Wiping the soapy suds away from his eyes, Yuzuru gives him a look. “Javi knows we are only ones on this floor,” he points out.

Javier gathers up the dirty clothes, bunching them up under his arm. “It doesn’t matter, people from downstairs can still complain. No screaming.”

“That’s not what you said the first night here,” Yuzuru has that glint in his eyes he gets when he successfully understands a pun, all smug and satisfied with himself. But, “Okay, okay!” he relents when Javier threatens to throw a bottle of shaving cream in his direction.

“Don’t fall asleep,” Javier warns him before gently closing the door behind him.

He prepares clean clothes for Yuzuru, gets himself a beer and sprawls on the couch again, his head on the lap of the giant Pooh bear. There are more pictures on his feed; videos too, from the venue. Someone filmed Yuzuru’s face up close while wearing the flower crown, caught the rising blush on his cheeks. It’s barely a couple seconds long, but Javier keeps replaying the video, nearly transfixed.

He hears Yuzuru before he sees him, the couch dipping next to him.

“What do you watching?” Yuzuru asks, pushing his head into Javier’s neck. He smells like wild berries and he’s still warm from the bath. His wet hair sticks to Javier’s jaw.

“You,” Javier says simply. “You looked cute wearing flowers. Like a fairy.”

Yuzuru groans, but Javier can tell he’s pleased by the compliment. “Don’t watch that,” he says over his shoulder as he gets up again, padding back to the bathroom. Javier can hear the blow dryer roaring to life a few seconds later.

When Yuzuru gets back, hair now fluffy and bouncing around his face, he scrunches up his nose.

“Why you still watching that?” He puts his hands over his cheeks in fake embarrassment. 

“I had to watch something while waiting for you,” Javier says, placing his phone on the table and taking a sip from his beer. Yuzuru scrunches up his face even more, two lines appearing on his forehead. Javier swallows quickly, pushing the drink away on the table as well. He knows Yuzuru’s not fond of the smell or taste of beer.

“Want to go to bed? You said you were tired,” Javier murmurs, turning off the muted TV. The room feels darker without the flashing colors of the screen.

Yuzuru carefully slips into his lap. His robe is hanging loosely from his shoulders, his bare chest smooth and warm where Javier places a gentle kiss on his steady beating heart. Ever so gently, Yuzuru buries a hand in Javier’s hair, leaning down, bringing their mouths together. Again and again, his lips soft and plump against Javier’s. Javier snakes a hand around his waist, holding him steady, the other rubbing on his lower back. He’s a little surprised when Yuzuru uses his tongue, tilting his head for a better angle. The heat of his mouth stirs something between them, the wet sounds somehow magnified in the silence of the room as the kiss gets deeper. Yuzuru arches his back with a small whine, hips moving just the slightest bit.

Javier gasps at the playful bite on his bottom lip. “You want?” he whispers, unsure.

Yuzuru seems to be turning it over in his mind, nosing at Javier’s jaw, down his throat. He comes up again, leaning their foreheads together. “Mm. I don’t know. Tired.”

He yelps when Javier starts pushing off the couch, clinging desperately on him, legs tight on Javier’s sides. For a few moments they stare at each other. Yuzuru’s face is open and relaxed when he smirks.

“Victory lap?” he asks, arms tightening around Javier’s shoulders, squirming when he gets pinched for his sass.

They stumble into the bedroom. Javier almost trips on a pair of abandoned slippers.

“That giant Pooh bear kept staring at us,” Javier reveals conspiratorially, and Yuzuru’s chest rumbles against his as he barks out a laugh.

“Oh, Javi,” he wheezes through his giggles, shaking with mirth even as Javier dumps him less than gently on the bed. Yuzuru is so amused he even kicks his legs a couple times, his robe coming undone and pooling around him. He looks unashamed in his nakedness and Javier swallows with a bit of difficulty, eyes raking over his thin waist, the widening of his hips, the strong muscles there and down his smooth legs.

“You are scared of Pooh?” Yuzuru asks after he’s calmed down a bit, rolling on his side. “He went through security scanner. No cameras inside,” he explains, shaking his hair out of his eyes. Instinctively Javier leans down and combs back the bangs with his fingers, smoothing the dark strands.

“I don’t care. He had you in the rink. Now you’re mine.”

Yuzuru’s eyes soften, the corners of his mouth pulling a bit lower. He scoots closer so he can rub their noses together, cradling Javier’s palm close against his own cheek.

“Thank you, Javi. For coming here with me.”

“Of course,” Javier breathes across Yuzuru’s mouth, feeling the slight caress of his lips.

“I know you’re busy, very busy,” Yuzuru insists. “But you are here.” _For me_, goes unsaid between them. Yuzuru doesn’t sound as joyful as before, as if something heavier has climbed into his chest, carving a small, dark corner there, compressing his lungs. Javier can’t have that, not when tonight has been so special.

“Of course I’m here,” he reassures, throwing an arm around Yuzuru, pulling his body flush against his own. He can feel the heat of Yuzuru’s skin even through the thin clothes separating them.

“Thank you,” Yuzuru repeats again, full of affection, twice more as he trails his mouth across Javier’s face, leaving tiny kisses on his cheeks, his forehead.

“Let’s go to bed,” Javier whispers and Yuzuru nods against his jaw. Javier helps him kick the rest of the robe off and then pulls the covers over them both. Yuzuru curls into his arms again, making himself small, and Javier still wonders how is it possible for a man as wondrous as Yuzuru to fit in his narrow embrace so easily. 

  


  


~

  


  


He wakes up at some point during the night, unsure about the exact time, mouth feeling dry. It’s still dark outside; the traffic noises are sparse at this hour.

He’s surprised to see that Yuzuru is awake too. They forgot to turn off the dim wall lights, but Javier doesn’t need vivid details to sense his closed-off expression.

“What are you thinking?” Javier asks, although his mouth is still uncooperative from sleep and it comes out mostly incoherent. Yuzuru seems to understand though, because he shakes his head.

“Bad thoughts,” he replies cryptically, rolling on his back. Javier could stretch out his hand and trace the slope of his nose, gently bop the tip, then follow down the dip of his lips, feel the softness of his chin, his slender neck. Instead he pushes his hand under his pillow, propping his head a little higher. He had hoped they could have avoided this until tomorrow, the quick plunge after the high of his win.

“Want to share them?”

Yuzuru stays still and quiet. “I’m not sure,” he finally says. He pushes back the few rebellious strands of hair that tickle his face, rubbing his eyes. “Don’t want to make you sad too.”

_Too late for that_, Javier thinks. As if he can stay unbothered after hearing Yuzuru admit something like that.

“You can tell me,” he says.

Yuzuru is silent for a long while, long enough that Javier thinks he’s not going to get anything out of him after all.

“Now, this is ending. Skate Canada is ended, almost. I’m thinking about end.”

Javier frowns, then makes a concentrated effort to unclench his jaw and relax his forehead. This sounds more ominous than the usual cooldown and return to reality after a podium finish. “What end?” A part of his brain whines that it’s too early to be contemplating any kind of philosophical question.

Yuzuru turns to look at him with dark, mellow eyes. “Mine,” he says simply. “How do you keep… go on, when you can’t do the thing- something you like anymore?”

Javier searches for his hand under the warmth of the blanket. “You find other things you like.”

Yuzuru blinks, fast, like he’s trying to will his eyes to stay dry. “What if can’t find other thing,” he points out, voice small and flat, and for a split second Javier wants to pull his hand away, hurt beyond his expectation.

_Why can’t you be happy when I’m by your side_, he’d like to ask, but it would be unfair. Still, it stings, knowing that he can’t be enough, not yet at least. Everyone around him keeps telling Javier lately that he’s grown up now, mature and ready to tackle bigger things, but in moments like this he knows they’re wrong and that deep down he’s still got remnants of his foolish teenage dreams. He’d always thought he’d find _the one_ and that would be it, the coveted ticket to feeling complete. He’s slowly finding out that this might not be the case, and he’s got a feeling that Yuzuru is not far behind in having the same kind of realization. He’s glad they have each other to hang on to, though, to provide a semblance of comfort despite all the lingering questions.

“Then you keep looking,” Javier offers, because he can’t think of anything else to say that won’t sound like a platitude. 

“What if I never find?” Yuzuru shoots back, and there’s aggression there, as if this is somehow Javier’s fault, not providing him with a satisfactory enough answer. Javier squeezes Yuzuru’s wrist tighter.

“You don’t know that,” he says, keeping his voice level despite the obvious provoking.

“You don’t know too, if I never find,” Yuzuru whispers, stubborn.

“Then, I guess, you’ll have never found it,” Javier snaps, watching Yuzuru clamp his mouth shut.

Javier rubs his thumb over Yuzuru’s pulse point, finding his slender fingers to grasp tightly. “Negativity only brings negativity.” He knows it’s a low hit, using Yuzuru’s own words against him, but that’s what Yuzuru always says to him whenever he’s sinking deep into the pit of uncertainty. “You have to keep reminding this to yourself. If you can’t, I can remind it to you. As many times as you’d like.” He feels hypocritical uttering those words, knowing well enough how easy it is to remind others compared to remembering yourself.

Yuzuru keeps staring at the ceiling, trying to blink the tears away, unsuccessfully. A few drops roll down his cheeks, ending up lost somewhere between his hair and pillowcase.

“I know,” he bites out, whole face quivering with the effort it takes to keep his expression controlled. “But it’s hard.”

Javier pulls him close, wrapping him in his arms. He’s startled by the amount of naked skin his hands find, having entirely forgotten that Yuzuru didn’t wear anything to bed last night.

“It is very hard,” he agrees, rubbing Yuzuru’s back, feeling the last stray tears soak the fabric of his shirt. “It’s dark now, and everything feels heavier at night. Think about it in the morning.” It might not be a solid piece of advice, but the bright sun has always been one of Javier’s favorite remedies. “And remember that you’re not alone.”

Yuzuru presses closer, as if trying to physically delve inside him for shelter. “Yeah,” he murmurs against Javier’s throat. “Not alone, Javi.”

They hold each other tightly, until their bodies eventually relax.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Yuzuru whispers, barely audible in the quiet of the night, his breath catching in surprise, as if his own mouth has betrayed him. A strange concoction of feelings surge up inside Javier, overwhelming. There’s certainly relief there, a sense of achievement at having Yuzuru admit it after all, his ego getting stroked just right at the thought that he’s seen as equally precious. Yet there’s also a heavy weight present, the risk of letting Yuzuru down along the way, that the two of them may even end up on different paths.

He rubs his cheek on Yuzuru’s forehead. “Go to sleep. I won’t go anywhere.”

  


  


~

  


  


Yuzuru is in a much better mood the next morning. He’s already up, cuddling with the giant Pooh on the couch and reviewing his performance on his laptop, when Javier finally stumbles out of bed.

“Hey,” Javier croaks, then clears his throat. He steals a sip from Yuzuru’s forgotten tea and makes a face at how cold it is. Yuzuru only spares him an amused glance and goes back to replaying the video footage he’s decided to fixate upon. He does scoot over so Javier can squish himself behind him though.

“You think I could do quad lutz triple toe? In the short,” he asks, leaning back against Javier’s chest.

“Yeah? If you want to.” Javier has the utmost faith that Yuzuru could do quite a few things if he set his mind to it. They’ve had arguments about it in the past, about the kind of reckless jumping that scared Javier so much, still scares him. Lately Yuzuru is not as fearless as he used to be, much more aware of his own limits, so Javier trusts him to know when to stop pushing himself. Mostly, that is.

“But I have to make it work in single jump first. Then combination.” Yuzuru groans. “I don’t know why it’s so complicate. I thought I have it by now.”

Javier presses a kiss into his hair, his temple. “You’ll get it. You still got time.”

Yuzuru turns his head around to smile and Javier’s so relieved to see the spark back in his eyes, the determination fueling him and all the cogs turning in his brain.

“Then I’m thinking-”

Javier tunes out of it midway, still tired. Yuzuru is warm against him, like a living, breathing blanket, and Pooh is soft behind his back. He doesn’t realize when he drifts into sleep.

  


  


~

  


  


He barely wakes up in time for the gala. It still feels lame and lonely, watching the whole thing alone in his pajamas, but the giant Pooh bear keeps him company this time.

Javier remembers Parisienne Walkways in Sochi, Yuzuru’s boyish charm, his innocent smile. Now, he looks way too mature for the program, most of his naivete lost. Javier is half scared his costume’s going to rip at some point or another, but it miraculously survives the night intact. 

Skate Canada’s camera work sucks and Javier catches himself frantically searching for Yuzuru’s bright blue shirt in all the far away shots of the group choreo. The finale cuts off at the good part and once again Javier’s left to twitter updates regarding a jump battle. He shakes his head fondly over his phone, memories catching up to him again. It feels like he’s transported back in time, just not in the right place; he’s not next to Yuzuru showing off his own jumps, extending a hand to pick him up after a fall.

Scrolling through his feed he lingers over the dimly lit pictures of Yuzuru hunched over his Pooh tissue case. Raising his eyes, his gaze lands on the giant Pooh plushie next to him.

“Your friend has replaced you already,” he informs the yellow lump, patting its soft belly.

The updates start slowing down after a while and Javier finally gets time for a shower. He’s barely dressed when Yuzuru makes it back.

“Hungry,” Yuzuru muffles into the front of Javier’s shirt, hanging from his neck like a koala.

“Order whatever you want,” Javier says, dropping a kiss to the shell of his ear. His stomach is protesting as well, but he’d be pleased simply holding Yuzuru like this, soaking up his warmth and feeling his comforting weight pressed against him.

Abruptly, Yuzuru pulls back, a flicker of something reckless and dangerous in his eyes.

“Let’s go down to eat. To restaurant.”

Javier’s surprised. Not because he’s gotten used to feeling like a thief, lurking behind closed doors, but because he knows they don’t have much choice in the matter if they want an ounce of privacy left.

He tightens his hold around Yuzuru’s waist. “You sure?”

Yuzuru nods, grinning. Taking Javier by the hand, he leads him to the door. “Let’s go.”

They pick the table they deem the most discreet, Yuzuru partially hidden behind a tall potted plant. He looks giddy, which doesn’t necessarily bode well for Javier. Yuzuru with leftover energy can be a handful, Javier knows from experience.

The food is nice, and they share a quiet conversation, one last memory in Kelowna before having to go back. Return to reality, Javier muses, watching Yuzuru chew thoughtfully. He looks his usual self, but Javier can feel how restless his feet are under the table. 

“You watch the stream?” Yuzuru finally asks. _Ah, there it is_, Javier thinks.

“Yeah,” he admits, spearing a cherry tomato with his fork and holding it out to Yuzuru in silent invitation. With a flick of his eyes towards the rest of the room, to make sure no one’s watching, Yuzuru leans forward, wrapping his lips around it. Instead of eating it whole he sinks his teeth in, letting the juice run down his chin. His eyes don’t leave Javier’s as he deliberately makes a show out of licking his lips, eventually tugging the rest of it in his mouth with a sound that’s not entirely a moan, but close enough.

“You liked what you see?” This time the question doesn’t try to conceal its true intent. Yuzuru is staring straight at him, bottom lip jutting out softly. Javier wants to take it into his mouth and suck and bite until Yuzuru keens.

“It’s a nice program. But it doesn’t suit you anymore.”

Yuzuru frowns, accepting the napkin that Javier pushes into his hand, raising it to his chin to wipe the remaining stickiness away. “What you mean?”

Javier tilts his head to the side. “You’re too mature now.”

The response is immediate. “You prefer to see mature?”

The click of Javier’s tongue sounds too loud to his own ears. One of the small candles on their table has gone out, and Javier focuses on that, unable to bear the weight of Yuzuru’s intimate gaze.

“I want it all. Innocent, mature, everything.”

Yuzuru regards him carefully, with hooded eyes. Finally he pushes his chair back. “Done?” he asks, nodding towards the leftover plates on their table.

Javier follows him.

  


  


~

  


  


They’ve been in this hotel suite for 5 days and parts of it have started feeling familiar. Not in the way home feels like a part of Javier’s own soul, but familiar enough to relax and think, _maybe_. It’s similar to how Javier feels about Canada in general; lingering opportunities that Javier hasn’t fully committed to considering yet, but have the potential for something more, something bigger.

Strangely enough, that’s how Javier’s always felt about Yuzuru too. Hidden inside that narrow body, under the layers of politeness and forced distance, has constantly simmered something stronger.

Now, with both of them tumbling into bed and Yuzuru kissing him fiercely, Javier thinks this undefined potential is finally up for the taking.

Yuzuru easily rolls on top of him, settling in the space between Javier’s legs. His weight presses onto Javier, caging him between the hard shape of Yuzuru’s body and the duvet, and Javier spreads his legs wider to accommodate him. The corners of Yuzuru’s lips curl as he wiggles around, his eyes bright and mischievous. He lowers his mouth to brush his plush lips tenderly over Javier’s chest, nosing the fabric of his shirt aside. A shiver runs down Javier’s spine when Yuzuru reaches his belly button, sucking kisses around and under, trailing lower. His teeth catch on the waistband of Javier’s briefs, pulling ever so slightly; his thumbs rub soothing circles over Javier’s protruding hipbones. Javier arches his hips and Yuzuru hums, pleased, mouthing over the fabric where Javier’s cock is starting to harden.

Javier relaxes into the pillows supporting his back, enjoying the view. His hands gravitate towards Yuzuru’s shoulders, his neck, up his jaw, brushing dark bangs out of his forehead. Yuzuru’s eyes threaten to flutter shut and Javier wants nothing more than to keep caressing him like this, his own growing pleasure nothing but an afterthought. 

He almost doesn’t notice when Yuzuru finally takes him in his hand, his fingers smooth and slightly cold.

“Look,” Yuzuru whispers, holding the swollen head over his lips so that it barely touches them, rubbing his mouth fleetingly over the sensitive skin there. Heat shoots through Javier at the sight, so familiar yet never less exciting. He tightens his grip on Yuzuru’s face, holding him still so he can push against his mouth. Yuzuru gasps, glancing up at Javier even as his lips part over the tip, allowing it to press on his tongue. His mouth forms a perfect circle. The pressure applied is just barely enough to entice, not offer any relief.

“Look at me,” Yuzuru repeats, the words tickling against Javier’s cock.

Javier pushes his thumb against Yuzuru’s jaw, his cheek. “I am,” he breathes, and Yuzuru finally closes his eyes, reassured. 

“Don’t stop looking,” he murmurs before wrapping his mouth tightly around the head, sucking hard. He sinks lower, jaw slack and tongue working desperately. Javier fights to hold his eyes open through the onslaught of sensation, almost giving in when he feels himself hitting the back of Yuzuru’s throat, threatening to slip deeper. It’s just five unbearable seconds, then Yuzuru is pulling off with a heaving breath, wetness caught in the corners of his eyes.

“Yuzu,” Javier moans, his fingers tracing Yuzuru’s wet, swollen mouth. Yuzuru kisses his thumb, then wraps a hand around him again, stroking fast.

“Yeah?” he asks, voice croaky. “Good?”

“Perfect,” Javier says, and Yuzuru almost looks a little surprised, his whole face flushed. His tongue comes out to flick against the tip again, short licks that leave Javier throbbing with pleasure. His delicate fingers slide steadily along the length of Javier’s cock, his other hand fondling all around, leaving trembling skin in its wake.

“Come on,” Yuzuru says, his breath hot and wet where Javier’s most sensitive. “I want it.” 

Javier shakes him off, taking himself in hand, groaning at the change of pace. Yuzuru rubs his cheek against him like a giant cat, graciously offering his mouth again. Desperate, Javier thrusts inside, his toes curling at the constricting warmth.

“Let me-” he tries to give a warning before he holds Yuzuru’s head still, pushing deep like before. Yuzuru’s throat is tight and closed off and Javier momentarily fantasizes about how it would feel like to breach it, to be able to see the harsh bulge of his cock from outside.

Yuzuru pulls off with a violent cough, a wet trail on his left cheek. It’s too much and Javier comes in seconds with a sigh, pulsing against Yuzuru’s quivering lips, his hands rubbing soothingly wherever they can reach. 

“Fuck,” he whispers, stroking apologetically through Yuzuru’s hair, unable to control his bucking hips. Yuzuru’s face is so wet, from sweat and tears and Javier’s come dripping down his chin. He looks a little dazed. Javier gently pulls him up and against his chest, wiping his face with his shirt.

“Okay?” he asks. His heart is still beating so fast under Yuzuru’s ear, a thumping drum in the silence of the room.

Yuzuru nods, raising his head, and Javier recognises the gesture for the request that it is. He kisses his forehead, then his nose, and finally his puffy lips. He sucks gently on Yuzuru’s tongue, the lingering taste peculiar. 

Yuzuru is so hard against him.

Javier pushes both hands under his waistband, palming his ass. Yuzuru makes a small sound into his mouth, then groans louder when Javier squeezes firmly, hips stuttering.

“Baby,” Javier mouths against Yuzuru’s lips, watching him flush at the word, turn his gaze away. Javier kisses his temple, insistent. “Beautiful baby.”

“Javi,” Yuzuru whines, eyes squeezing shut. His body is warm and tense under Javier’s hands.

Javier pushes Yuzuru’s briefs down, as far as he can get them, and Yuzuru kicks them off the remaining way. Javier blindly reaches for the lube under the pillows, both hearing and feeling Yuzuru’s gasp against his jaw at the sound of the cap opening.

Javier lowers his hands again, his wet fingers exploring and rubbing along the way. His thumb catches on Yuzuru’s hole, so tightly coiled, and he pushes into it, gently, feeling the way it flutters under him. Yuzuru exhales deeply, breath tickling Javier’s throat. 

“Mm, Javi.” There’s encouragement in Yuzuru’s small hum and Javier presses harder, slipping inside. “Oh,” Yuzuru sighs, muscles clamping down around Javier. His legs spread, knees on each side of Javier’s body for support. This way he has enough leverage to push his strong hips back, Javier’s finger disappearing inside him.

“That’s it,” Javier murmurs into his hair, his other hand finding Yuzuru’s ass to squeeze the supple flesh once more. He pulls out just to hear Yuzuru’s impatient huff, then presses inside again, meeting the same initial resistance before Yuzuru relaxes. Slowly, he tries to build a rhythm that matches Yuzuru’s movements.

“Yes,” Yuzuru moans, his hand working himself faster between them. “Javi, please,” he whines, breathless, sighing in relief when Javier matches his speed.

There’s a mirror in the bedroom, off to the side, and there’s just enough light for Javier to be able to see the way his finger moves in and out of Yuzuru’s wet pink hole, the way Yuzuru’s thighs strain with the effort of holding his hips up. It’s been a long while since they last fucked for real, with Yuzuru draped over the back of Javier’s couch, body tense and panting for breath as Javier drove into him. 

They had fun, that week in Spain nearing the end of July. Yuzuru had been surprisingly relaxed, full of bubbling sweetness, and every moment felt lighthearted and precious. If Javier hadn’t been sure before, about being silly in love, he was almost certain after, when they had to say goodbye and it felt like tearing a part of himself away. 

Back when they were younger, occasionally stealing kisses in between Javier’s attempts at dating, Javier thought he was mostly in it for the thrill. Yuzuru was attractive and safe; he understood Javier in a way not many could or made an effort to, and getting to see him flush and unwind beneath his hands had Javier coming back again and again, hungry for the intense longing in those dark eyes. Then, after Pyeongchang, something shifted; whatever arrangement they used to have was not enough. Yuzuru turned from someone who was convenient for a quick release to a warm presence that Javier simply didn’t want to part from.

“Javi,” Yuzuru moans next to his ear, voice desperate, bringing him back to the present with a jolt. Javier catches his heaving mouth into a kiss, closing his hand over Yuzuru’s tight fist, squeezing. Yuzuru rips his mouth away to cry out, eyes crinkled shut. Wetness drips hot onto Javier’s hand and heat spreads anew in him at the way he can feel Yuzuru tightening around his still moving finger. _Later_, Javier thinks; the night is far from being over and he’s not sure when they’ll get to be together like this again. 

Like a popped balloon, Yuzuru slowly deflates against him, limbs heavy. He hums low in his throat when Javier drags his thumb around his hole, playing with the sensitive skin there.

“You want?” Yuzuru’s voice is rough and inviting next to his ear, his teeth closing around the lobe.

“We don’t have to,” Javier starts. “If you’re tired.”

Yuzuru trails kisses down his jaw. “Javier,” he says. The use of his full name sounds almost scolding.

“Okay, yeah, I want. I want you, always,” Javier confesses across his lips, and Yuzuru lets out a pleased sound, eyes alight.

“Ten minutes,” he says, pushing himself off Javier and rolling on his back, stretching his legs. He pushes the heel of his palm against Javier’s half hard cock, smiling at the ensuing groan it earns him.

“You have to make me want, too.” A playful reminder and a challenge, if Javier’s ever heard one.

He tangles his feet with Yuzuru’s, getting to work.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm at [@ssetoso](https://twitter.com/ssetoso)!


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